Thursday, April 30, 2020

Tweet, You Sinners! 2020-04-30 (Part 2 of 2)

Tweet, You Sinners! 2020-04-30 (Part 2 of 2): TRIGGER WARNINGS: Homophobia, false accusations of mental disorders, false accusations of bestiality, rape apologia, strong language, Ken tweeting about sodomy a few thousand times. 

Ye gods, these people are odious. The Fundies wonder why nobody likes them. They are hateful and disgusting. If Heaven is full of the likes of them, who would want to go there? Apart from being odious, they’re also dumb as dirt. 
Also, anyone who uses “autistic” or any other neurological or psychological condition as an insulting adjective is straight-up trash. 
I think an NSFW version of the author’s books is appropriate. These slimeballs should be exposed uncensored for their despicable ways. 
I certainly couldn’t fault him for blocking these Christofacists. One can only endure just so much logic-impaired hate before it starts to wear on the psyche. 
His responses to them are far cleverer than mine would be. I would have said “oh, eff off you despicable twotwaffle” many tweets ago. 

Monday, April 27, 2020

Ornery Poetry + Sly Rhymes: The More Things Change (Part 2)

Image by Tibor Janosi Mozes from Pixabay

The more things change, the more they stay shitty
The words of the Orange Dolt ain't pretty
He talks like a clown
Spewing his foolishness 'round
Proving his brain is just itty bitty

~sly has spoken~

Image purchased from 123rf.com
Copyright Julia Henze



NaPoWriMo: Write a review poem of something that doesn't usually get reviewed. Well, it's a review poem anyway. I give this particular subject terrible reviews all the time. Every time I fart, it's a review of what I think of his shitty performance.

April PAD Challenge: Write a change poem. Boy, do we need a change before Vice-Admiral Shitbrain sinks not only his own ship but the whole goddamn fleet with his egotistical ineptitude.

notes
I'm keeping it simple today and just having fun, letting my snarky, politically inclined alter-ego, Sly Fawkes, take the reins. This poem isn't anywhere near good enough to share on any of my subscription platforms.

I'm using this poem for my debut on Something For the Weekend, Sir, to be published on May 3, 2020. If you enjoy discussing poets and poetry, stop by. They may not want me back after this one!

If you enjoy my work, please click here to find out how you can support me. One of the easiest suggestions pays you and me both!


Saturday, April 25, 2020

Riffin' on Jim: Poetry of the Netherworld Remix in the Style of James Schuyler, Sort Of

James Schuyler
James Schuyler (1923 - 1991)

Image from the Poetry Foundation page

This poetic remix exercise takes the titles of all poems written for this month's challenges and roughly reworks them into the style of James Schuyler's poem, Sweet Romanian Tongue.



Drew down the COVID-19 curse on broken-down America
The stench of time breaking down a corpse
We cannot sail away on the asphalt sea
Some prefer to hide in sleepy little towns
 
Why do we follow a lunatic down the road to hell?
I harbor a secret wish that there are better days ahead
Yet the masque of the Orange Idiot may prevail
Too many fall into his trap
 
Steve Mnuchin, such a waspish twit, it makes me weep
I think I will head to Mr. Lovecraft's madcap zoo
Perhaps I have fallen into a time-leak mousetrap
 
Will we all fall victim to the word that destroys
As fools with brains full of love in bloom for Trump
Refuse to get their news elsewhere away from Fox
 
We are unable to hide beneath a lead umbrella
As everything rages out of control like a fire from a cigarette dropped in dry grass
The spirit of the wood hides in pitchy night
Staring at the damage, there is no taking it back
 
"Why would you let this be your legacy, America?" it queried
"I wish this miserable red mess would wake to a blue dream."
The last, best, chosen one went on speaking nonsense
The spirit of the wood wrote a Sedoka for a lost world
 
"These are the happiest days of our lives," the orange despot bellowed
Wagging tarnished silver tongue as the wind lifted his piss-blond hair
I wrote a message to my past self, an impotent warning
"I give you a gift wrapped in horror," it read.
"Although I fear that my words may be lost in translation."
 
"The people made a troublesome choice," I warned her.
my diseased and dying body smelling of wet cigarettes
"Will Mark's train come to collect me in the pitchy night?" I wondered.
"Will social distancing save us?
Or will we all wind up lying dead in a field of rotting pumpkins
As the crows and vultures pick the sun-dried flesh from our bones?"
 
Content coyright 2020 by Cara Hartley
 
Please do not repost
 
Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it.
 
Sharing a link to the poem is acceptable.
 
Quoting portions of the poem for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.
 
NaPoWriMo: Use a long poem by James Schuyler as a guidepost for your poem
 
April PAD Challenge: Write a remix poem
 
This work is cross-posted in these places:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
If you appreciate my poetry, please consider picking up a copy of my first published poetry volume, Another Autumn.
 

Rotting Pumpkin Sestina by Sly Fawkes

tRumpkin
Image copyright Deedster on Pixabay
https://pixabay.com/photos/pumpkins-halloween-trump-trumpkin-1580968/
This snarky Sestina is composed by Aunt Cie's snarkastic pundit alter-ego, Sly Fawkes.
I
with a brain like the inside of a rotting
pumpkin, Dear Leader 45 takes the stage
spouting out misleading misinformation
telling his audience to mainline Clorox
"It will kill the coronavirus," he says
"You just change the pH balance of your blood"
II
never mind that he knows nothing about blood
please ignore the fact that his mind is rotting
or that he is just a ham who loves the stage
spreading deadly lies and misinformation
you'll die shooting up an I.V. of Clorox
you should not ever trust what Pumpkinhead says
III
our Dear Leader with rotting pumpkin brains says
he thinks you should inject bleach in your blood
to make the coronavirus start rotting
please do not concern yourself about the stage
leading to death from his misinformation
coronavirus is not cured by Clorox
IV
you can wash dirty laundry using Clorox
please pay attention to what the label says
do not go injecting Clorox in your blood
for if you do, then you will soon be rotting
death can be anticipated at the stage
following Pumpkinhead's misinformation
V
a four-year onslaught of misinformation
the White House needs a good cleaning with Clorox
and since we can't trust what the red leader says
we need an injection of blue in the blood
this once-great country from within is rotting
get the pumpkin-headed ham off of the stage
VI
hopefully, we have come to the final stage
of daily ranting and misinformation
clean up the rotting pumpkin stains with Clorox
and really hear the words each candidate says
we can't let their charisma poison our blood
scandal addiction leaves our country rotting
VII
a scrubbing with Clorox
may relieve the rotting
it's time to clear the stage
~sly has spoken~
what does the fox say
Royalty-free image copyright Julia Henze purchased from 123rf.com
Content coyright 2020 by Cara Hartley
 
Please do not repost
 
Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it.
 
Sharing a link to the poem is acceptable.
 
Quoting portions of the poem for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.
 
NaPoWriMo: Write a poem about a fruit. I was initially going to compare Cheeto Stalin to the Annoying Orange but decided that a rotting pumpkin was more appropriate. 
 
A pumpkin is, in fact, a fruit. Here is a fun page that explains why.
 
April PAD Challenge: Write a nature poem. I may have done the reverse of this because the Rotting Pumpkin-Head in chief is utterly unnatural.
 
This work is cross-posted in these places:
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

To Err Is Human: Responding to One's Errors Reveals Character (or Lack Thereof)

To Err Is Human: Responding to One's Errors Reveals Character (or Lack Thereof): Let's be frank: we all make mistakes. Even our deities are flawed beings. Greek Mythology has gods engaging in sex crimes and temper tantrums, and Amaterasu made the sun go away in response to Susano'oh's rampage. 

It’s hardly a surprise that Cheeto Hitler would want Brett Kavanaugh as a supreme court justice. After all, the Orange One is both a fake Christian who only truly worships himself and is a serial creeper who sees women as nothing more than playthings. There are far too many “Christians” who talk out both sides of their mouths, which is why I distanced myself from the church. My self-imposed ex-communication had very little to do with spiritual issues. For my own part, I think that churches tend to worship political ideals far more than theological tenets.

~Sly Has Spoken~

Monday, April 20, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 20 + April PAD Challenge Day 20: A Gift Wrapped in Horror

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

could it be a gift
exposing social failings
in isolation
not everyone has to work
in external location

~sly has spoken~

image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com



NaPoWriMo Day 20: Write a poem about a gift

April PAD Challenge: Write an isolation poem

notes
I have felt for years that certain jobs could be done remotely. This would both reduce the amount of traffic on the road, resulting in reduced pollution and reduced stress levels, and would allow more disabled people the opportunity to work. I would like to think that maybe some companies will see the proverbial light and continue to have certain jobs be done remotely. I won't hold my breath, because experience says that people are stupid, apathetic, lazy, and generally evil, and I don't trust them to do the right thing.

Naughty Netherworld Press Patreon!
Support snarky political poetry and weird fiction! Join the Naughty Netherworld Press gang Patreon for as little as a buck a month. No longer do you have to follow multiple blogs to keep up with Team Netherworld! 

Be recognized each month for your contribution to exposing the evil of corrupt politicians and keeping the world weird. Gain exposure for your blog, page, or book, if you want it. When you support us, we support you!

Thursday, April 16, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 16 + April PAD Challenge Day 16: The Last Best Chosen One

Image by David Bruyland from Pixabay

the last bigly best forever president
is a very stable genius, just ask him
"I am the chosen one," he says, looking up
he makes the best jokes, right?

"Trump is doing a very good job," he says
giving himself a gold star and Nobel prize
he is the best at complimenting himself
often in the third person

the last bigly best forever president
thinks he deserves a military parade
Kim Jong-un gets one, so when will Trump get his?
don't care how, he wants it now

the last bigly best forever president
knows everything that is going to happen
he was chosen by God to be the messiah
at least if you ask him

the last bigly best forever president
would not still be in office fucking things up
if Congress had the guts to remove his ass
impeachment means shit

~sly has spoken~

image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com



Tuesday, April 7, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 7 + April PAD Challenge 2020 Day 7 + April PAD Challenge Catch-Up Countdown Day 3: Hey Steve!

Steve Mnuchin, Secretary of Clueless Rich Bastards
Photo copyright Chip Somodevilla @ Getty Images

Steve Mnuchin is way out of touch
He thinks twelve hundred bucks is so much
If you pay rent you starve
If you eat you live in your car
Most folks don't have a fat money clutch

~sly has spoken~

image copyright juliahenze@123rf.com



notes
NaPoWriMo: write a poem about a news article

April PAD Challenge: Write a lucky or unlucky poem. Aren't we all ever so lucky to have our big-hearted and insightful Cousin Stevie looking out for our well-being?

April PAD Challenge Countdown Catch-Up Day 3: Write a response poem. This is Sly's response to Steve.

Steve's lurvely wife, Louise Linton, is a real feckless See You Next Tuesday. They're the perfect match made in hell.

I'm just gonna leave this here for reasons

Sunday, April 5, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 5 + April PAD Challenge 2020 Day 5 + April PAD Countdown Catch-Up Day 5: The Masque of the Orange Idiot

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Like a pigeon from hell
The Red Death tripped the light fantastic in the door
To a nation helmed by a megalomaniac so wrapped up in himself
That he didn't hear it knocking
He didn't see it coming
He didn't smell the decay
Of the bodies lying in the streets
He was too busy tasting the saccharine
Of the lies he told himself
About how wonderful he was
To touch upon the truth
And so he heard the death knell
As a victory march
And his mind burst forth fireworks
In celebration of his assured triumph
Donald Trump, the despot monarch
Of the land of the freely dying
He said he didn't see this coming
Then argued that he always saw it coming
And took to Twitter to shitpost
Some stupid memes he cooked up
To magically distract from his cock-up
As the Red Death painted the town
King Don said the Red Death was all the fault
Of the Lamestream Media
And Hillary Clinton's emails
And Obama's microwave
Because they let the Chinese Virus
Come across the Mexican border
He emitted smoke from seven orifices 
Proclaiming he had other pussies to whip
So Nancy Pelosi better stop ironing his head
Raving narcissist lacking empathy
As stable as a sleeping volcano
Being rudely awakened
He flew through the corridors of the White House
Proclaiming "that ornery old lady Cie is a nasty woman"
"I will lock her up!" he cried
"She claims I am bigly responsible
For the Red Death dancing through the streets
But I will pound his ass into a quivering jelly
Because I am a very stable genius"
King Don continued ranting
Det ligger en hund begraven
There was no magic in this moment
The American flag dropped to the ground in despair
Night fell over the homeless sleeping in parking lots in Las Vegas

~sly has spoken~

image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com



notes
This poem was penned by my politically-minded alter-ego, Sly Fawkes
Here is the list of prompts followed to create this poem.

Also included are the prompt Moment (for April PAD Challenge Day 5) and Magic(for April PAD Countdown Catch-Up Day 5)

Begin the poem with a metaphor.
Say something specific but utterly preposterous.
Use at least one image for each of the five senses, either in succession or scattered randomly throughout the poem.
Use one example of synesthesia (mixing the senses).
Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.
Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.
Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.
Use a word (slang?) you’ve never seen in a poem.
Use an example of false cause-effect logic.
Use a piece of talk you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you don’t understand).
Create a metaphor using the following construction: “The (adjective) (concrete noun) of (abstract noun) . . .”
Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.
Make the persona or character in the poem do something he or she could not do in “real life.”
Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.
Write in the future tense, such that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.
Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.
Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no sense.
Use a phrase from a language other than English.
Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification).
Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes” an image from earlier in the poem.

Det ligger en hund begraven means "there's a dog buried here," a metaphor for someone not telling the complete truth.

Friday, April 3, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 3 + April PAD Challenge 2020 Day 3 + April PAD Countdown Catch-Up Day 7: Follow the Leader Down the Road to Hell

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Follow Dear Leader
Down the road to hell
As he spouts lies and bullshit
Out both sides of his mouth

People are dying of a contagious disease
For which there is currently no cure
He advises us to pack the churches
Because apparently thoughts and prayers will make us immune

If only 100,000 people die
He will have done a really good job, he says
Do not be afraid, because
His ratings are better than The Bachelor's
And his ranking on Facebook is at an all-time high

Surely you will sleep better tonight knowing
That Dear Leader is tweeting in the third person
About his Bigly popularity
Just have a cup of covfefe and relax
Don the Con is in charge

~Sly Has Spoken~

Courtesy of my politically opinionated alter-ego Sly Fawkes
Image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com
Sly is feeling the Bern again
But she will vote blue no matter who



notes
The only prompt I followed today was the April PAD challenge prompt. I wasn't feeling the NaNoWriMo prompt and the day 7 PAD countdown prompt didn't quite fit.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Wordy Thursday: Ornery Book Reviews: The Lovely Bones



Genre:
Mystery

Rating:
Five out of Five Stars for Goodreads

Disclosure
If readers purchase a copy of the book using the above link, I will receive a small commission from Amazon. The following is a duplicate of my review for Goodreads.

I really enjoyed this touching and powerful book. I appreciated the author's ability to connect the reader with Susie, the victim of a horrific crime committed by a very evil man. I enjoyed experiencing Susie's thoughts from her vantage point in the afterlife. I also appreciated the fact that the author discussed the ways in such a devastating incident disrupts the family of the victim. I simply can't think of much to say without giving away things that the reader should discover for themselves, so I'll keep it brief. Read this book (or listen, as I did.) It is an amazing experience.

The following questions are from the Insecure Writers Support Group Book Club discussion of this book.

1. The main character, Suzie Salmon, is killed in the first chapter. The author, Alice Sebold, has very little time to build Suzie as a character and get readers to connect to her.

QUESTION: Did you feel a connection to Suzie in Chapter One? What helped to create that connection?

I liked Susie from the beginning. She was an ordinary girl. Personally, that's one of my favorite protagonists: simply an ordinary girl trying to get through life.

2. Have you ever written a story in the point-of-view of a ghost/spirit?

If yes, what technique did you use? (How did you handle not being able to use certain senses such as touch and smell, and was your character able to interact with other characters?)

I primarily write paranormal/science fiction hybrids, so I write about ghosts quite a bit. My ghosts can see, touch, and smell things but have trouble interacting with the living unless they encounter someone who is sensitive to their presence.

3. The story jumps from character to character a lot and includes a lot of flashbacks. Did this detract from or increase your enjoyment of the overall story?

I thought the author did a great job of this and it added richness to the story.

4. What did you think of the description of Suzie’s Heaven?

I liked the realism of it, although I think it would suck to be there. I request a different heaven!

5. Overall, people love this book or they hate it. Where do you stand?

I liked this book very much and recommend it highly. It gets the Ornery Seal of Approval!


Ornery Owl
Image copyright Open Clipart Vectors on Pixabay







Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Insecure Writers Support Group Meets COVID-19



April 1 question - The IWSG’s focus is on our writers. Each month, from all over the globe, we are a united group sharing our insecurities, our troubles, and our pain. So, in this time when our world is in crisis with the covid-19 pandemic, our optional question this month is: how are things in your world?

The world wags on. I live in a remote rural area, and if I didn't have to emerge to do stupid things like going to the pharmacy (it's always a fight to get the necessary amount of insulin), going to finish clearing out an old mobile home to get it ready to put on the market or paying the weekly visit to my mother (300-mile round trip) I would rarely emerge. (Not saying that going to visit my mother is stupid, but the other two things are definitely a source of aggravation.)

Since I do freelance work from home due to being disabled, my life has, fortunately, not been significantly impacted by the Hell Virus. I know that if I were to be infected by a serious case of it, I'd be dead. I have asthma and diabetes. I'm 55 years old and disabled, and the world already thinks that people who look like me should die. I would be triaged as not worth saving. I probably should be scared, but if I put my energy into being scared nothing gets done. So, I get on with things.

I loathe the Orange Menace occupying the White House. His narcissism during this time of crisis is beyond the pale. He should have been hauled out in handcuffs when he was impeached, but like toenail fungus, he remains. I have more respect for toenail fungus than I do for my country's so-called "president."

Yeah, that's about what I've got for now. My snarky alter-egos Ornery Owl and Sly Fawkes collaborated to make this post, which is worth what you paid for it.



Fat and Ornery
Image copyright Open Clipart Vectors on Pixabay

Sly and Snarky
Image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com