This Post Is For Girls

lazyxfemme

 livebloggingmydescentintomadness

Girls, if something about a guy scares you or makes you uncomfortable, get away from him as fast as possible. Listen to your instincts. Don’t make excuses. Just run.

 livebloggingmydescentintomadness

Because like a thousand people have felt the need to add comments like “Boys, if a girl scares you” or “People, if a person scares you” and “this goes for everyone” and “this shouldn’t be gender specified” I am going to make it very clear that this post is for girls. 

THIS POST IS FOR GIRLS.

Why? Because girls are socialized to not be rude, not ‘be a bitch’, to not hurt a man’s feelings, and that they’re being silly and overreacting if something they can’t explain makes them afraid. Because girls are preyed on by men who use every one of these things to their advantage, who lure girls into their control and molest them, rape them, beat them, and kill them. Because it happens every fucking day and girls need to know that if something feels wrong, they need to get the fuck away from that man.

You don’t like that this post is gendered? I don’t like that girls are abused and date raped and murdered every fucking day and they are STILL pressured to “give him a chance” when a man makes them uncomfortable. So get off your pretentious fucking high horse and support girls instead of telling me “this goes for everyone”.

 Sly Sez:

An older boy sexually assaulted me when I was 15 thanks to my being socialized to “be a lady” and “not hurt his feelings.” Instead of telling this gross creeper in no uncertain terms to keep his disgusting hands off me, I tried to hint obliquely that I wasn’t interested.

I’m throwing a content warning on this because I will be describing a sexual assault incident.

This guy was a blind date, a friend of my friend’s boyfriend. He was also the older brother of a guy I knew from school. The four of us went to a movie. He started touching my thigh and trying to kiss me. I asked my friend’s boyfriend for the keys to the car, hoping Mr. Handy would want to stay and watch the movie while I sat in the car and drank beer. 

Unfortunately, Mr. Handy followed me to the car. He either took the beer from me or I set it aside, not wanting to spill it in the car. He asked me if I wanted him to put on a condom. I said no. He assumed this meant I was on the pill. I told him “no, I don’t have sex on the first date.”

Which leads me to another thing. How about if we stop pushing the idea that being a virgin is somehow “uncool?”

He grabbed my hand and put it on his penis. I hoped that if I did what he wanted he’d leave me alone. I had an extremely low self-esteem. I didn’t feel like I had the right to say no, I don’t want this. It’s like I became a robot or everything became dreamlike. He “repaid” me for the hand job by shoving his fingers roughly into my vagina. When I got home, there was blood on my panties.

It’s hard to explain why I let this happen. I didn’t want it. I wasn’t really afraid of him. I could have kicked him or started screaming or gotten out of the car. I just went numb. I was molested by my aunt’s first husband when I was very young. I don’t have any specific memories of the event, but it may have contributed to my freezing up when this creep assaulted me. 

I started acting out after this event, cutting class, cutting myself, doing drugs. I didn’t even realize that I had been sexually assaulted until many years later. This was the 1980s and because there was no PIV activity, nobody thought of it as sexual assault.

Women and girls are overwhelmingly targeted as potential victims by gross creepers like this guy. So, yeah, this post should be for girls.