Thursday, April 16, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 16 + April PAD Challenge Day 16: The Last Best Chosen One

Image by David Bruyland from Pixabay

the last bigly best forever president
is a very stable genius, just ask him
"I am the chosen one," he says, looking up
he makes the best jokes, right?

"Trump is doing a very good job," he says
giving himself a gold star and Nobel prize
he is the best at complimenting himself
often in the third person

the last bigly best forever president
thinks he deserves a military parade
Kim Jong-un gets one, so when will Trump get his?
don't care how, he wants it now

the last bigly best forever president
knows everything that is going to happen
he was chosen by God to be the messiah
at least if you ask him

the last bigly best forever president
would not still be in office fucking things up
if Congress had the guts to remove his ass
impeachment means shit

~sly has spoken~

image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com



Tuesday, April 7, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 7 + April PAD Challenge 2020 Day 7 + April PAD Challenge Catch-Up Countdown Day 3: Hey Steve!

Steve Mnuchin, Secretary of Clueless Rich Bastards
Photo copyright Chip Somodevilla @ Getty Images

Steve Mnuchin is way out of touch
He thinks twelve hundred bucks is so much
If you pay rent you starve
If you eat you live in your car
Most folks don't have a fat money clutch

~sly has spoken~

image copyright juliahenze@123rf.com



notes
NaPoWriMo: write a poem about a news article

April PAD Challenge: Write a lucky or unlucky poem. Aren't we all ever so lucky to have our big-hearted and insightful Cousin Stevie looking out for our well-being?

April PAD Challenge Countdown Catch-Up Day 3: Write a response poem. This is Sly's response to Steve.

Steve's lurvely wife, Louise Linton, is a real feckless See You Next Tuesday. They're the perfect match made in hell.

I'm just gonna leave this here for reasons

Sunday, April 5, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 5 + April PAD Challenge 2020 Day 5 + April PAD Countdown Catch-Up Day 5: The Masque of the Orange Idiot

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Like a pigeon from hell
The Red Death tripped the light fantastic in the door
To a nation helmed by a megalomaniac so wrapped up in himself
That he didn't hear it knocking
He didn't see it coming
He didn't smell the decay
Of the bodies lying in the streets
He was too busy tasting the saccharine
Of the lies he told himself
About how wonderful he was
To touch upon the truth
And so he heard the death knell
As a victory march
And his mind burst forth fireworks
In celebration of his assured triumph
Donald Trump, the despot monarch
Of the land of the freely dying
He said he didn't see this coming
Then argued that he always saw it coming
And took to Twitter to shitpost
Some stupid memes he cooked up
To magically distract from his cock-up
As the Red Death painted the town
King Don said the Red Death was all the fault
Of the Lamestream Media
And Hillary Clinton's emails
And Obama's microwave
Because they let the Chinese Virus
Come across the Mexican border
He emitted smoke from seven orifices 
Proclaiming he had other pussies to whip
So Nancy Pelosi better stop ironing his head
Raving narcissist lacking empathy
As stable as a sleeping volcano
Being rudely awakened
He flew through the corridors of the White House
Proclaiming "that ornery old lady Cie is a nasty woman"
"I will lock her up!" he cried
"She claims I am bigly responsible
For the Red Death dancing through the streets
But I will pound his ass into a quivering jelly
Because I am a very stable genius"
King Don continued ranting
Det ligger en hund begraven
There was no magic in this moment
The American flag dropped to the ground in despair
Night fell over the homeless sleeping in parking lots in Las Vegas

~sly has spoken~

image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com



notes
This poem was penned by my politically-minded alter-ego, Sly Fawkes
Here is the list of prompts followed to create this poem.

Also included are the prompt Moment (for April PAD Challenge Day 5) and Magic(for April PAD Countdown Catch-Up Day 5)

Begin the poem with a metaphor.
Say something specific but utterly preposterous.
Use at least one image for each of the five senses, either in succession or scattered randomly throughout the poem.
Use one example of synesthesia (mixing the senses).
Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.
Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.
Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.
Use a word (slang?) you’ve never seen in a poem.
Use an example of false cause-effect logic.
Use a piece of talk you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you don’t understand).
Create a metaphor using the following construction: “The (adjective) (concrete noun) of (abstract noun) . . .”
Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.
Make the persona or character in the poem do something he or she could not do in “real life.”
Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.
Write in the future tense, such that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.
Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.
Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no sense.
Use a phrase from a language other than English.
Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification).
Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes” an image from earlier in the poem.

Det ligger en hund begraven means "there's a dog buried here," a metaphor for someone not telling the complete truth.

Friday, April 3, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 3 + April PAD Challenge 2020 Day 3 + April PAD Countdown Catch-Up Day 7: Follow the Leader Down the Road to Hell

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Follow Dear Leader
Down the road to hell
As he spouts lies and bullshit
Out both sides of his mouth

People are dying of a contagious disease
For which there is currently no cure
He advises us to pack the churches
Because apparently thoughts and prayers will make us immune

If only 100,000 people die
He will have done a really good job, he says
Do not be afraid, because
His ratings are better than The Bachelor's
And his ranking on Facebook is at an all-time high

Surely you will sleep better tonight knowing
That Dear Leader is tweeting in the third person
About his Bigly popularity
Just have a cup of covfefe and relax
Don the Con is in charge

~Sly Has Spoken~

Courtesy of my politically opinionated alter-ego Sly Fawkes
Image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com
Sly is feeling the Bern again
But she will vote blue no matter who



notes
The only prompt I followed today was the April PAD challenge prompt. I wasn't feeling the NaNoWriMo prompt and the day 7 PAD countdown prompt didn't quite fit.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Wordy Thursday: Ornery Book Reviews: The Lovely Bones



Genre:
Mystery

Rating:
Five out of Five Stars for Goodreads

Disclosure
If readers purchase a copy of the book using the above link, I will receive a small commission from Amazon. The following is a duplicate of my review for Goodreads.

I really enjoyed this touching and powerful book. I appreciated the author's ability to connect the reader with Susie, the victim of a horrific crime committed by a very evil man. I enjoyed experiencing Susie's thoughts from her vantage point in the afterlife. I also appreciated the fact that the author discussed the ways in such a devastating incident disrupts the family of the victim. I simply can't think of much to say without giving away things that the reader should discover for themselves, so I'll keep it brief. Read this book (or listen, as I did.) It is an amazing experience.

The following questions are from the Insecure Writers Support Group Book Club discussion of this book.

1. The main character, Suzie Salmon, is killed in the first chapter. The author, Alice Sebold, has very little time to build Suzie as a character and get readers to connect to her.

QUESTION: Did you feel a connection to Suzie in Chapter One? What helped to create that connection?

I liked Susie from the beginning. She was an ordinary girl. Personally, that's one of my favorite protagonists: simply an ordinary girl trying to get through life.

2. Have you ever written a story in the point-of-view of a ghost/spirit?

If yes, what technique did you use? (How did you handle not being able to use certain senses such as touch and smell, and was your character able to interact with other characters?)

I primarily write paranormal/science fiction hybrids, so I write about ghosts quite a bit. My ghosts can see, touch, and smell things but have trouble interacting with the living unless they encounter someone who is sensitive to their presence.

3. The story jumps from character to character a lot and includes a lot of flashbacks. Did this detract from or increase your enjoyment of the overall story?

I thought the author did a great job of this and it added richness to the story.

4. What did you think of the description of Suzie’s Heaven?

I liked the realism of it, although I think it would suck to be there. I request a different heaven!

5. Overall, people love this book or they hate it. Where do you stand?

I liked this book very much and recommend it highly. It gets the Ornery Seal of Approval!


Ornery Owl
Image copyright Open Clipart Vectors on Pixabay







Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Insecure Writers Support Group Meets COVID-19



April 1 question - The IWSG’s focus is on our writers. Each month, from all over the globe, we are a united group sharing our insecurities, our troubles, and our pain. So, in this time when our world is in crisis with the covid-19 pandemic, our optional question this month is: how are things in your world?

The world wags on. I live in a remote rural area, and if I didn't have to emerge to do stupid things like going to the pharmacy (it's always a fight to get the necessary amount of insulin), going to finish clearing out an old mobile home to get it ready to put on the market or paying the weekly visit to my mother (300-mile round trip) I would rarely emerge. (Not saying that going to visit my mother is stupid, but the other two things are definitely a source of aggravation.)

Since I do freelance work from home due to being disabled, my life has, fortunately, not been significantly impacted by the Hell Virus. I know that if I were to be infected by a serious case of it, I'd be dead. I have asthma and diabetes. I'm 55 years old and disabled, and the world already thinks that people who look like me should die. I would be triaged as not worth saving. I probably should be scared, but if I put my energy into being scared nothing gets done. So, I get on with things.

I loathe the Orange Menace occupying the White House. His narcissism during this time of crisis is beyond the pale. He should have been hauled out in handcuffs when he was impeached, but like toenail fungus, he remains. I have more respect for toenail fungus than I do for my country's so-called "president."

Yeah, that's about what I've got for now. My snarky alter-egos Ornery Owl and Sly Fawkes collaborated to make this post, which is worth what you paid for it.



Fat and Ornery
Image copyright Open Clipart Vectors on Pixabay

Sly and Snarky
Image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

NaPoWriMo 2020 Preview Poem: American Breakdown

Image by moonzigg from Pixabay

America, America, alas
the cracks in your facade are on display
how many dead when all has come to pass
how many dead because of the delay
addressing a disease that came to stay
you told us it would all be over soon
deluded jackass braying at the moon

~Sly~

Image copyright juliahenze @123rf.com
Sly and Snarky

notes
This Rhyme Royale was penned by my snarky political alter-ego Sly Fawkes with love to the village idiot currently occupying the White House--as much love as he deserves, anyway.

The prompt was to write a poem about my favorite birds. The bald eagle is one of my favorite birds. This one looks angry.