This post may be a bit of a hodgepodge. Bear with me.
The following are comments on
a post at Feminist Current regarding PTSD in female adolescents caused by repeated exposure to online pornography. Comments from The Real Cie are my thoughts.
People with mental illness as a whole are being let down by the mental health system.
People with PTSD are being let down by the mental health system.
Women and girls are being let down by the mental health system.
The mental health system needs to be overhauled. However, in a society where people with disabilities are made pariahs and forced into poverty and health care is placed out of reach for many people, I don't foresee changes coming anytime soon.
Pet peeve time:
The word "womxxn" makes my eyes go crossed and my brain go stabby. There are no "womxxn". There are only women. Stop doing this!
minor correction: Bessel van der Kolk is male.
This is such an important subject. I spend way too much time online because I'm isolated
due to disability and trauma, and I have to say it's actually helped me with some things,
but it's never the same as healthy in-person relationships. Unfortunately most of us live in large
cities where it's hard to connect with people. I think we are going to have to redesign cities so
they are more people friendly, less car-friendly, both in terms of urban design and in terms of
social structures, so people can connect with more people irl.
That might help with preventing online trauma, but unfortunately, that won't help with trauma
in the family, which pushes some of us online. I watched a TED video recently (
Watch the video
by Nadine Burke Harris, who talked about ACE scores and how revolutionary it is to know that
adverse childhood experiences contribute so much to physical health down the road, but when it
comes to public response, crickets. People find trauma too hard to talk about. I lost my family
because people find trauma too hard to talk about, so they'd rather push me out than deal with it.
I guess that's where people who can deal with trauma need to step up.
"I'm isolated due to disability and trauma."
Me too. People like us are very vulnerable, and I'm fully aware that no-one gives a flying shit.
You know the stages of grief charts.
I would really like one made for womxxn with ptsd.
Unless the PTSD is addressed and worked on, I don't know that there are stages for it other than "acute" and "always there fucking up your life forever."
- Anyway, those are the two stages I've experienced with it, and addressing and working on it isn't as easy as it sounds when there are monetary and other barriers to finding a therapist. When it comes to therapists, I've had bad experiences and don't trust them damn crooked vultures. I've also found that there is a lot of sexism in therapy and often women's trauma is written off as "female hysteria."
" Studies increasingly show that the way young people consume social media, 24/7, is not only leading them to feel less socially connected, but also leading them to decreased mental wellness. "
I'd agree with this.
But as the father of a teenage girl who spends much of her life online, I don't necessarily think it's the sexualisation and pornification of the internet that is the biggest problem.
Online bullying ( mentioned only in passing in this article ) is perhaps a bigger problem. And the feeling that everyone else is ' living their best life ' ( as the expression goes ) while you may be suffering from issues of self-esteem and/or worthlessness, or lack of direction... is perhaps a bigger problem still.
I've already agreed on previous threads that young people have too much access to porn, and that it's warping their views on sexuality. I have no intention of revisiting that argument now. And I'm not saying that online porn is not a problem.
But this article seems to be suggesting that it's the main reason why the internet is causing young teens mental health problems. And I don't think that's true.
Since you've made it clear that you enjoy porn and believe that full legalization of prostitution is a positive thing, I doubt you can possibly understand how porn can very negatively impact a young woman even if she is never drawn into it herself.
My father never treated me as a sex object (thankfully) but he had plenty of adult magazines around. I don't think the early Playboys had a negative impact. Early Playboy had art nudes as opposed to lurid pictures of young women fully spread-eagled and either leering at the camera or looking like a deer in the headlights.
My father's attitudes towards porn made me realize quite early on that all men, even good men like my father, see women as nothing but pieces of ass. It was upsetting, discouraging, and led me to realize that my father would side with creepy men over me, whom I became aware he saw as a second-class citizen. He may not have been aware of this himself, but he did see me and all women that way.
My father would always talk about women in terms of their physical appearance, not their accomplishments. Even as an adult, it was discouraging to me when he referred to Winona Ryder as "that plainest of plain Janes". Being quite a plain Jane myself, it cemented for me that my father saw women as things, not people.
I hope you will at least try to be a little careful of how you present your attitudes regarding women where your daughter is concerned. You may not realize it, but she is probably well aware that her father sees women as objects. You may be a good father in other regards, and I hope I am right in the belief that you do not sexually objectify your daughter. However, a man's attitude towards the objectification of women can have a lifelong impact on his female children. Your attitudes towards porn may be harming your daughter more than you realize.
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