When Setbacks Sideline Your Ambitions

Copyright Ayelet Keshet

This is a blog that I generally endeavor to keep my personal problems away from. I have a blog which addresses my ongoing struggle with mental illness, and, for the most part, I do not see the need to discuss my personal problems here. However, on occasion, I feel that disclosure of my own issues may be helpful to someone else who feels that there is no way a person with certain handicaps can achieve success.

There is an unfortunate tendency in modern society to postulate that only those who are hale and hardy and possessed of a certain type of beauty can excel in the world. While I am not yet the picture of success, I would like to work to disprove this, if I may be so bold as to say, ugly and bigoted assertion.

Those of us who are born with physical and/or psychological challenges tend to experience setbacks that people without these challenges find difficult to imagine. These setbacks go beyond the condition itself.

The vast majority of people who are homeless or living in poverty are not "lazy". 

They are people with (often invisible) conditions which render them unable to conform to society's rigid and Draconian standards.

It can be difficult if not impossible to maintain a positive approach to life when one feels as if one is being attacked at every turn, including when seeking help.

Those who are unable to pay for the help they need are decried as shiftless.

Those who fear seeking help because of previous bad experiences are decried as unmotivated to change.

Those who do not wish to take dangerous medications for their conditions are admonished as being uncooperative and deserving of whatever misfortune befalls them.

Those who feel hopeless are admonished to "think positive" and "try harder."

Let us focus for the moment on mental illness.

I am not the sort of person who believes that mental illness can be "cured." In fact, I cringe when people make such assertions.

As someone who has lived with mental illness my entire life, I believe that, while there is no "cure" for conditions such as mine, that useful coping skills can be taught to those living with psychiatric illness, and, such coping skills are more effective when learned at a young age.

Mental illness is not "one size fits all." Most people who have never dealt with mental illness, either in themselves or a person close to them, believe that there are pat answers, mostly involving medications. Some people do not respond well to medications. Such people tend to be admonished as "uncooperative."

Physical illnesses do not always respond well to medications either.

With both mental and physical conditions, the sufferer tends to be seen as broken, damaged, and having failed. People see them as deserving of their misery.

I will turn the focus to my own physical conditions, mostly endocrine issues.

I have always been admonished as being "lazy" and not "trying harder." My diabetes and thyroid issues are severe enough that I struggle with activity intolerance. I have to take frequent breaks or I start to become dizzy and confused. This is not conducive to the type of work I did for many years, caring for elderly and infirm patients. 

Rather than seeing that I had a problem of my own, I was admonished as being lazy, uncooperative, and stupid. I was fired rather than laid off, which would have allowed me to maintain a modicum of dignity.

I can no longer work "normal" jobs. I went from making $40,000 a year to making $12,000 a year. What little savings I had was quickly decimated.

I have two cats, both of whom need veterinary care that I can't afford. I live in a place which, evidently, contains toxins. Most of my cats have died prematurely, either due to cancers or organ failure. I realized this pattern only this year. I myself currently am awaiting screening for suspected endometrial cancer. Whatever is in this place may have contributed to the worsening of my own endocrine problems. I don't know, and I may never know.

"Just move" is not an option.

I'm not going to blow sunshine up anyone's ass. I'm not going to tell you that by having a "positive attitude" or by praying to (fill in the name of chosen deity) you will succeed and find happiness. I don't know if you will or not. I hope you do.

I'd like to tell you that it gets better, but in all honesty, I don't know if that's true.

I can only wish you luck, and I hope that something I share may help you along the way.

Peace,

Sly

Blog Revival and A Few Ground Rules for Commenting: No Name-Calling

I'm going to attempt to breathe some life back into this blog.

Should comments appear, there need to be a few rules.

The first is basic courtesy.

No name-calling. Focus on the behavior, not the person.

I've been guilty of this infraction. Recently, in fact.

Not on this blog, which has lain dormant for a while.

Not even on a political blog.

It was a fandom blog. Trust me, Tumblr fandoms are rife with inane accusations.

If you don't ship what certain fans ship, or if you ship something they don't like, they will call you a pedophile.

This person had been on for a while about a certain ship that she didn't like. She went on to try and prove her point by comparing this ship, which involved adult biologically related characters, to a hypothetical "what if someone was shipping a forty-year-old character with a nine-year-old character?"

By that point I'd had enough of her sea-lioning and general bullshit and responded with a terse "It's apples and oranges, you twat."

My comment would not be acceptable here.

What would be acceptable?

I could have said: "your given scenarios are not comparable. They are apples and oranges."

I could even have further said: "I feel that you are being deliberately obtuse, as your comments pushing people to agree that Ship X is a bad ship are becoming more and more unreasonable. Since it is clear that no-one here is going to agree with you, it would probably be more productive for you to write on your own blog about why you feel that Ship X is such a bad ship, and, this time, tag your post properly so as not to start another flame war."

Note: tagging isn't as much of an issue on platforms like Blogger as it is on Tumblr. Tags tend to be a bit more internal for the blog itself, and it's accepted by most people that a post tagged "Donald Trump" could either be positive or negative. I still try at this point to prefix tags for derogatory posts with "anti" on Blogger as well.

It should go without saying, but along with no name-calling, hate speech is unacceptable. This includes terms like "TERF."

The reason why TERF is a problem is because it targets women whom the person using the slur believe to be transphobic. There is no comparable term for men whom people deem transphobic. TERF is a term which incites violence against women, i.e. "punch a TERF." It is a problematic term at best, and is not acceptable here. If you feel someone is being transphobic, say that. Don't gender your derision.

There will be no inciting of violence against any group, including those most of us identifying as progressive deem odious. In other words, no "punch a Nazi" rhetoric will be allowed in the comments. This is not because I like Nazis. I find them disgusting, and, if every last one of them were fired off in a rocket bound for the center of the sun, I would not shed even a single tear. Yes, they are bad people who would like to see awful things done to those they deem inferior. We need to not stoop to their level. Violence should always be the last resort, never the go-to.

Further, Richard Spencer would still be a nobody if he hadn't been made a martyr when he was punched. Now he's the poster boy for the "Alt Right." I would rather he were still a nobody.

The policy on commenting is, generally, a "three strikes" policy. If a comment is bad enough from the start, it will never be published in the first place. (This applies to Blogger. On Tumblr, the commenter will be blocked.) If the comment breaks a cardinal rule but has redeeming value otherwise, the commenter will be advised of the infraction and asked to be more careful in the future. If the commenter continues to break the rules, their comments will cease to be published.

I do not wish to prevent debate in good faith, nor to demand that all comments be passionless and completely politically correct, i.e. quibbling over whether "disabled" or "handicapped" is the more correct term. Such micromanagement shuts down conversation. I do wish to prevent the poisonous atmosphere that pervades so many spaces currently.

To simplify, let basic common courtesy be your guide. Debate the idea. Don't make personal attacks.

~Sly Has Spoken~

 Purchased image created by juliahenze on 123rf.com

Shadorma: Get Sick and Die

Hookworm

Despite the

 Worst efforts of the

 New order

 To insure

 My early death, I live on

 And I will fight them

~The Real Cie~ 

Notes:

This piece was inspired by this post about the treatment of sick and poor people in Lord Dampnut's Amerikkka. As part of the working poor class, and as a disabled person, living in Lord Dampnut's Amerikkka is terrifying.

Pink Floyd - Waiting for the Worms

The Cheese Grates It: An Angry Cog

Source: Anonymous Art of Revolution

I was in the public school system from 1970 until I graduated in 1983. I became well aware by the time I was in junior high that they were trying to churn out cogs for the machine. I didn't want to become one of those cogs.
Although my life did not work out at all like I planned and I now work in a low-paying contract labor job and have to be careful not to earn too much so I don't lose Medicaid (I have several serious health concerns), I still refuse to bow down and be a happy little cog dependent on my Soma. I'd rather be an angry cog criticizing the individuals and problems spoken of in this post and trying in whatever small way I can to work for change. I may go to my grave a pauper, but at least I never became one of their kind.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

Spoken by a patriot who is extremely distressed at the destruction of my country by demagogues and theocrats.

This is not my America.

Copyright juliahenze@123rf

Also visit me at Sly Fawkes and Sly's Free Speech Space

Check out THIS Creative Way for COPS to Steal MORE of Your Money

The owner of this channel seems to be a Libertarian. Whatever the case, this is some bullshit right here, fining people for not locking their vehicle. Yeah, that seems fair. (sarcasm)

~Sly~

30 Days of Haiga: Day 14: Lament for My Flag

Original background image:

Copyright: milena1234 / 123RF Stock Photo

Fighter planes image (upper left corner) source NPR News

Racist graffiti image source: Olean Times Herald

Misogynist quote source: Donald Trump

Notes:

I like to think the piece speaks for itself, but I will include a little personal history. 

When I was a young child in my early school years, I was very proud when it came time to say the Pledge of Allegiance. I sprang to my large and far from dainty feet, puffed out my scrawny chest, put my hand over my stalwart young heart, and spoke those hallowed words in my biggest voice. 

I was born in 1965. I didn't go to Kindergarten. Many years later I had a nightmare that Ronald Reagan ordered me to go back to school starting with Kindergarten. Initially, I attempted to comply, but then I realized that there was no legally binding reason for me to do this and I said "I quit," and walked out of the classroom to the sound of Mr. Reagan's voice berating me as a loser.

From first through third grade, the Viet Nam war was still taking place. I believed that the United States would eventually see that the war was a bad idea and would end it, so I said the Pledge proudly because I believed that my fine country would eventually do the right thing because we were the Good Guys.

During the next several years, the country was healing from the aftereffects of the Viet Nam War. I believed that we were headed in the right direction, and I thought that Jimmy Carter was a fine president and would continue to take us that way.

The Reagan era began when I was fifteen years old and I came to believe that we were all doomed to either eat flaming death in a nuclear holocaust or freeze to death in the nuclear winter which would follow. The Pledge of Allegiance lost its former wondrous appeal to me, but I still said it because I felt it was my duty as a patriot to try and believe in my country.

As my son says, the United States is still one of the best countries to live in, but we have a lot of problems. The election of Donald Trump brought a plethora of pathology boiling to the surface. 

We are not post-racist or post-misogynist and we are severely intolerant of anyone who isn't a God-fearing American "Christian." I put Christian in quotes because I don't think the behavior of those who subscribe to the ideals of American religious fundamentalists is Christ-like in any way. There is a frightening new wave of nationalism, and free speech is under fire. There is normalization of bigotry and intolerance.

This is not the America that young me believed in when she put her hand over her heart to proudly say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning at school and even at home in her bedroom on Saturday and Sunday because she thought it was the right thing to do.

This America brings tears to the eyes of middle-aged, working class me as I write these words. I despair for the loss of innocence in the heart of the child I once was and fear for the future of who I have become, for those I love, and for my fellow citizens of this world.

~Sly Speaks~

As real as it gets

Copyright Julia Henze +123RF.com